Once I lose some of my chubby-ness I will take swing dancing classes.
I hate being alone and I get in these mind sets where it doesn’t feel ok and then I start to panic why can’t I be normal
Sometimes I have dreams where they feel so really that I forget that they didn’t actually happen in real life, and I have to remind myself “that person wasn’t actually a dick to me it was just a dream” or that person didn’t really have a crush on me it was just a dream. Like I almost accidentally treat people differently because of my dreams and how they’re in them
It just pisses me off I’ve never been anyones first choice, ever. I’m mostly just an option. I’ve never been the “only one” in anyones eyes. No one has ever felt a special and true love with me, where they want to be with only me. No one has every wanted to just give me everything they had, no one has been willing to make me special. No one has ever thought “wow I just want to be in this girls arms for forever and no one else’s”. No one has ever felt perfectly happy with just me. Everyone wants more than what I can give. Everyone deserves that kind of love and affection but not everyone gets it and it’s hurtful. It really fucks up your self esteem after a while
This feels weird.
i am a pathetic person it embarrasses me so much
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